It's October
reflecting on September and the time that has passed.
I woke up shocked to see that it was the first. I’m not sure why—I knew it was coming, and I knew yesterday was the last day of the month, but it still shocked me. I talked about it in my previous post: how I feel the time rushing past me and am continuously surprised to see when yet more time has passed.
September has come and gone, and now it’s October. There are a few things I do on the first of a month: I make my playlist, think about the previous month, and write down the things I’m hopeful for for this month. Today I figured I would bring you along with me.
The Playlist. Here are my top fifty songs of September. These are the songs that I played in the background while I wrote and blasted in the kitchen while I washed dishes with my brother. I truly believe that to know me you must 1) Read my writing, and 2) Listen to my music. Everything I know and love is wrapped up in those two things, so I’m excited, though a little nervous, to share this with you.
Reflection. This September was a time of exhaustion, acceptance, and learning. I started the school year, bought way too much chai from my favorite coffee shop, read some books, and grieved a friendship. I spent a lot of time with my siblings—watching my and my sister’s favorite show, going on walks with my brother. Our oldest sister came home for a weekend to go to a wedding, and while she was here we sat on her old bed and cried for hours. I prayed each night for Iris and cried for her, too. The typical anger towards my parents festered, but it wasn’t all bad. My dad and I talked about writing. My mom told me she loved me. I started journaling more, and I am slowly finding things out about myself. Oh, and I started a Substack—it’s been lovely. It was a good month, I think.
My hope for October. For this, I made a list.
drink earl grey tea
cry only when I’m happy
light the candles I’ve been preserving for no reason other than to watch them collect dust
bake a pie
finally fold the basket of laundry that has been sitting in the corner of my room for weeks
journal every day
actually post on substack when I say I will
not let the cold reach my soul
create something every day (a word, a picture, a crocheted mushroom)
love the people around me and let them love me
And so this post comes to an end: some music, some reflecting, and hope. All I need, really. I hope September treated you well, and that you stay warm against the icy winds of October. I hope you find some people to love and let love you.
With love, Tess The Willow Archive
This is such a great idea. I should start jotting down a brief summary of my previous month and my goals for this one.
Btw, what's you and your sister's favourite show?
1) i lied is a such good song, good and sad
2) isn’t journaling shockingly effective in getting to know yourself?? you never know what’ll come out
3) if you’re sad let yourself cry, it’s unhealthy to keep those babies in! (i call tears babies i guess)